The More Things Change The More Things Change

This morning, though not hung over, I woke up with a headache. Finally past noon, I'm feeling better. I've been thinking about some of the conflicts I've had in my personal relationships in the past few years and wonder if anxiety/alcohol has driven some of them. I'm hard-core "type A." Get me started on a project and I can't let go. This attribute has it's pluses and minuses. My success at managing and organizing several large scale community events, can I'm sure be attributed to this tenacity and drive. However, I tend to bowl people over with my energy and need for perfection. I guess you can say I'm an acquired taste. I want to do things well and get frustrated and hurt when people misunderstand where it all comes from, and there are many who do.

I have some strong supporters who love me, get me and motivate me. I have certainly alienated people unintentionally. Today I found out one of my good friend, P is moving hours away. This is the second close friend this year who's leaving town. I don't like this change. Ironically, the first friend (T) who moved a few weeks ago is also a good runner and a "good" drinker too. I've never discussed drinking with her, but I sense we've got something in common. So, my rational side says it may be easier for me now that she's gone. Won't be tempted into post run/race drinks. We didn't do it often but when we did... well, it was too much. However, it's a loss for me and one I've been mentally preparing for since I found out she was leaving.

My second friend (P), who I organize a big event with will be leaving at the end of the school year. Boo! P. is one of those people who attracts everyone with welcoming enthusiasm. She's a "fan" of some of my talents and a lot of fun to spend time with.  I will miss her dearly.

The departure of my friends and the "loss" of alcohol is a lot to handle all at once. As a manager I used to say, "When any employee leaves, view it as an opportunity to make positive changes in the organization." I'm working on embracing the changes in my life, because change can bring opportunity. I need to be careful though, not to take on more than I can handle right now.