Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Drinking, Blogging, Running, Running Away

Several weeks ago in a fit of hypochondria I decide to try to quit drinking (again). Every say, 6 months or so, I think I'm dying of some disease or other brought on by my wine habit. Drinking say 4 glasses a day, daily and sometimes more. Its been going on for years. I've been managing well (relatively well) for years and managing my anxiety too. Rationally I've known this is not good for a long time, but emotionally and maybe physically I haven't found the strength to put a stop to it.

After happening upon some blogs I realized that there were more people like me than I guess I understood. Women, mothers who were successful at holding it all together despite their overindulgence in wine-- in my case Chardonnay. I have a fear of AA (more about that another day) and feel that blogging and connecting with others will help hold me accountable. So, I'm joining in!

I held a successful career (managing up to 40 people at times), went on great vacations, finally met a great guy to marry and had a couple of kids. Through it all I never took care of myself.  Didn't eat well, drank a lot but somehow made it work. When I was close to 40 a picked up the habit of distance running. One would think that wouldn't mix well with drinking copious amounts, but somehow I managed. I've run dozens of marathons (some of them quite fast, thank you) and won many awards in smaller races. I define myself as a "runner" and I work hard at it.

Lately, though I've been exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that life is throwing at me: aging parents, kids who have various issues and accepting my own mortality. I know that for my health and sanity quitting is what I need to do, but the idea is almost as overwhelming as everything else in my life. I can't imagine never holding a glass of wine and toasting at a big event or feeling a buzz after a glass (or two) following a long day. What will vacation be like without the ability to unwind? But past attempts with moderation have been futile, so here I am two weeks without a drink and ready to take it on.

Running Away is a thing of the past. I'm looking to tackle this head on. Hope you'll join me.

2 comments:

  1. I came across you through Sober Mummy's blog. I am very new to this whole business of giving up alcohol. I've never really attempted to stop before, although there were plenty of times I dwelt on it because I kept "over" doing it! So here I am, joining the on-line support world, hoping, praying and believing I WILL stop drinking for good. At 53, there's no good in drinking everyday, large amounts of alcohol if I want to have a second chance at living a great life. So hang in there, if I can do this, you can too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I am so grateful I found the on-line support world. This is the first time I've been as motivated as I am right now. I have hope for all of us!

      Delete